Sleep Study or Tale of the Lab Rat

The sleep study happened this past Tuesday night.  First recommendation, don't do something like this in the middle of the week.  Anyway, I really had not thought much about the event until sometime during the afternoon of the study.  Then for some reason, I started getting bothered about having to go and not knowing what they would do.  So I spent some furious minutes "googling" sleep studies and learning what happens in them.  That really still did not make me feel better.  After I got home and started some dinner and started packing my bag, I still felt strange about it to the point that I was just kind of moving around without really knowing what I was doing.  

Then 7:45pm came and I knew that I needed to get myself out the door to get to the lab between 8 and 8:15pm.  These folks are very specific about arrival times.  So, I arrived around 8:10pm and pushed the intercom and told them who I was.  Immediately I was put at ease because the voice on the other end was a true Southerner who explained exactly where to go.  I then went in and made my way upstairs where the technician brought me forms to fill out and explained them in detail.  Mark, my technician, was very good at explaining everything to me the whole time I was there.  After the forms were signed, he took me and another gentleman down to another floor behind two locked doors.  He then showed us to our rooms.

Ok, these rooms were on the order of a motel and not as good as Motel 6.  The bedroom fit the bed, a small table and a small tv.  There was a larger bathroom attached that had a step in shower but over all it looked fairly well used as rooms go.  I immediately changed into my pajamas only to discover that there were what I thought were stains on them even though they had just come out of the wash.  I later realized that apparently it was some kind of stain from fabric softener.  Well, there will be no changing at this point.  So I sat on the bed, got comfortable and watch Big Bang Theory on the small tv with the fuzzy screen.  How do you get cable and still have fuzzy screens?  

After about 30 minutes, Mark came back and took me to his lab area where he hooked me up to a box that had about 30 wires attached.  There were two on each leg.  One on each shoulder and then about 20 on my head.  He had to measure my head and mark spots with a pin before he then used sticky stuff to connect the wires to my head.  Joy!  Joy!  He then put a microphone type line that went into my nose like air hoses are done in the hospital.  That was so he could hear me breathe.  Once this was done he showed me CPAP masks and mentioned that if he found that I was having an issue breathing that he would come in during the night and set me up on a CPAP machine.  

Then I hobbled back to my room with all the wires attached and got ready to sleep. Lights out was at 10pm and at that time he called me through the open intercom in my room and asked me to move certain body parts so he could see me on the infrared camera and make sure the wires were working.  He then reminded me to try to stay on my back (luckily I am a back and side sleeper) and then it was time to sleep.  

Interestingly during this problem I have been able to go to sleep without much trouble and it took maybe just a bit more this night.  I did wake up a few times but when you are attached to numerous wires it is hard to move and get up and even to go to the bathroom I had to have Mark come and unhook me from the box.  So when I woke up I tried to find a way to get back to sleep which I did.  

At 5:30am, Mark came in and told me that he had kept me a bit longer - guess why?  Yes, he found NOTHING wrong with me!  NADA!  At least he did not call me NORMAL!  So I spent that night hooked to wires, uncomfortable, after spending $250 to meet my deductible and found NOTHING!  

I will be happy that I do not need a CPAP machine but really, NOTHING????  

So now the doctor reviews my file and decides if he wants me to come back to do a daytime nap study or what.  Maybe I am making this all up or it could be the aliens!  I have been watching alot of Ancient Aliens on the History Channel and maybe they are scared that I will discover their secret!  

So the tale ends with me leaving as quickly as possible and spending 30 minutes in the shower at home with amazing amounts of conditioner.  

I may add the picture I took of myself later if I get brave enough!