Loving Who I Am

Had an epiphany today!  Honestly, I have these a lot.  I am constantly reevaluating who I am internally and looking for ways to improve.  That is actually difficult for me sometimes when others around me don't have the same needs or goals for improvement.  Perfection ain't gonna happen.  But I really do want to be a better mother, wife, friend, daughter, sister, person!

Anyway, I have been internally stressing about my weight gain and the inability to lose any weight right now with the meds and other issues I am dealing with.  Well, today I read about several women who finally got off the dieting ferris wheel and decided to accept what body they had.  The problem I have is that I remember that size 2 wedding dress.  No, I never want to look that thin again but I would take a 12 over a 22.

However, right now it is more important for me to be healthy and feel good no matter my weight.  So I am letting the worry in that place go!  I will exercise when I feel like it.  I will eat what I like in moderation.  I will take something when I have pain.  (This is a big one!  The husband says I am a martyr and I need to stop being that way!)  Ok, I give in!  Neuropathy has not beat me but the worry and stress over the symptoms is over!

Remember if you don't love yourself, no one else will!

Another Possibility

Today I went to a consultation for a sleep study that my neurologist suggested.  Not sure why I kept putting it off but I finally went.  Maybe I am going now because I am still not sleeping through the night without waking up.  Or maybe because after bronchitis I am really feeling that these huge tonsils that I still have may actually really be causing me problems.  Anyway, I went this morning and it was bit surreal.  I explained it to my sister and she asked if it reminded me of sitting in my grandparents house when we were younger.  Yep, that was it!  The waiting room was full of people and I was the youngest in the room by at least 20 years.  Also, they had a television and yes Andy Griffith himself in Matlock was on.  I almost had a giggle!  Everyone who was talking was sharing how many ailments they had and what surgeries they had had.  It did make me feel better!

Again I have found another nurse practitioner who I love.  Jeanne was her name and she was no nonsense and very fun!  I had to fill out over 4 forms prior to coming in about meds, how I sleep, breathe, eat, etc.  You would think that would tell her everything but it didn't.  So she asked about my neuropathy and other illnesses and we discussed my weight gain that will not go away.  She just nodded and empathized with my pain.  She then attempted to look in my throat and had to stop.  Her words were that she wanted to see my tonsils but was scared she would make me throw up.  She said that back of my throat and the roof of my mouth were very close to each other and she was not surprised that I was having pain, not sleeping and having such issues.

So she said the sleep study will tell them more about how much oxygen I am not getting and where we should go next.  As Scott said to me, wouldn't it be wild if my huge tonsils were causing me all this trouble.  We will see!  I will tell you more about the sleep study as I do that.  It should be interesting!

Why We Observe Neuropathy Week

From the Neuropathy Association


Why do we observe Neuropathy Awareness Week? We recognize that neuropathy is a 24/7/365 battle for more than 20 million people in the U.S. (or 1 in 15)—6 million of whom also struggle with neuropathic pain—and until we find more treatments and cures, every week is Neuropathy Week, every day is Neuropathy Day. We look at this week as an opportunity for the entire community to fire up all engines—and to use all communication resources—to drive the dialogue on neuropathy. Awareness and understanding of neuropathy—and its impact—drive the allocation of more funding for neuropathy research, the development of more neuropathy programs; and, ultimately, more therapies and cures.

National Neuropathy Awareness Week

It is that time!  A week dedicated to making others aware of the pain I deal with.  I have worn my purple arm band all week and will be participating in some webinars and things going forward.  Sadly there is not a support group anywhere near me but maybe through this blog, I will find others who share in my problems.  

If you know of someone who is dealing with neuropathy no matter why, let them know you support them and understand their silent pain!

Pain Not So Bad - At Least I Have Feeling

This week a friend and coworker passed away after surgery for a benign brain tumor.  He had just gotten married a little over a year ago and recently welcomed a baby boy to the world.  However, within weeks of his son's birth he started having numbness and lack of focus.  The doctor's quickly diagnosed him and he went for surgery.  A surgery after which he never woke up from.  It is so sad that someone so young with so much to look forward to had to be taken so suddenly.

So overall my pain is nothing at least I am alive, moving and feeling even though my heart hurts!