New Year's Eve

Wishing everyone a happy and safe New Year's Eve! Here's looking to a new year where all our dreams come through especially those concerning children. Best wishes to all of my friends!

Just Relax

Those of you not going through infertility problems listen up! We do not, repeat do NOT, want to be told to just RELAX! Guess what, we are trying to relax and you telling us to do so only makes it worse. Everyone always say that if you just relax or try not to think about it that you will get pregnant. Let me tell you, it is impossible to not think about it when you have kept up with every day of your cycle for well over 6 years. You just automatically know when things should happen. Of course, the first couple of years were the toughest because you keep up with everything. However, now it is almost an afterthought and you just go with the flow and maybe someday all of the tests, the medicines and the doctor's appointments will work into a pregnancy. My husband and I have taken vacations and done all of the relaxing that it is possible to do and still are not pregnant. So I am relaxed! Hopefully everyone else is too and will just be supportive. I am off now to kiss on my niece Lauren. Her and her sister Emily remind me why I really do want children. Let's relax and play!

Everyone Else Is Pregnant

It's true! Everyone else IS pregnant, especially when you can not get pregnant. You notice every woman even showing just a little bit and small children will make you cry for no reason. It has been my experience during this time of waiting that I have an uncanny gift of having friends and associates who get pregnant around me. During the last 7 years approximately 10 of my friends or family members have gotten pregnant and some even twice. So it is starting to seem like I have a vibe that helps others get pregnant but it just is not working on me. Every person that I have talked with about their infertility problems have within a couple of months gotten pregnant. They start out commiserating with me and then before you know it they are pregnant and I am left to find again someone who understands where I am. I am so happy for my friends but it is difficult to watch it happen time after time. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband who is supportive and feels my pain too. I know one day we will find our special children but until then feel free to talk to me, you might get pregnant too! Stranger things have happened!

Doctors Are Too Busy

Another thing I have learned over the past 7 years is that doctors are often too busy for you. At this point, I have now been through 3 gynocologist and 2 fertility specialist. I am finally happy with my current gynocologist and fertility specialist but it took years to find them. Please, if you learn nothing else from this blog, ask your friends and family first who they are seeing. Often, you will find support just because other people have been through this too and just do not talk about it until asked. I had been with my first gynocologist for about 6 years when we started trying to get pregnant. He was way to busy and basically for two years had me on chlomid and kept checking my progesterone levels but nothing else. He did not seem to know what to do after that and never actually referred me to anyone else. He checked my husband and did xrays on me but everything was "ok." We never got specifics from him. Finally, I gave up and went to a different gynecologist, a woman, thinking she might be more helpful. She did manage to get some details from my previous gyno but other than ultrasounds she did not do much else. She then referred me to an infertility specialist. This was a nightmare! He was working in a teaching hospital and spent more time talking to his trainees than to me and my husband. His office did not even attempt to file anything with our insurance and basically for the next three months he took our money to do repeated IUIs without any further testing. At this point, I was tired of the whole process so we took some time off. Then I finally talked with a friend who recommended a new gyno for me. This doctor is great! He looked at me in the first appointment and asked if I had pain with my cycles. I said yes, he said endometriosis and we were off. I had surgery this past March to remove a good bit of endometriosis and then after another couple of months of not getting pregnant he referred me to a wonderful place call the ART program http://www.artprogramal.com. These people are proactive. During our first month with them, my husband and I spent a part of 3 days a week there being tested. They found things that no one else had even attempted. So currently, we are working on solutions to those promblems and hoping soon to be pregnant. Seven years and we finally have found someone to take the time and listen to us. Research is key and asking your friends can not hurt in your search!

From the Beginning

Well, let's start back with about 7 years ago when we thought we would be smart and plan when we would get pregnant. My husband Scott and I had finally reached a point where we thought it was time to start having children. We thought it would be good to have the child's birthday between our birthdays so we were shooting for sometime in March. So we waited until June of that year to get started. Well one month passed, then two, then three and still nothing. During the first couple of years the months were endless and I cried at the end of the each of them when yet again I was not pregnant. I bought books so I would be ready and learned alot of things about how lucky anyone is to ever get pregnant. There are just so many variables that have to be exactly perfect that when you get pregnant it is truly a miracle. Of course, these books are now gathering dust because I just can not look at them without wondering why not now. There are so many things that I want to talk about concerning my journey through infertility and they all come at me at once but I will try over the coming days to not rattle on without a topic. Just learn from this post that waiting is not necessary and there is never a perfect time to get pregnant. If you want children don't plan just do it! And if all else fails get a pet. After 2 years, I said let's get a cat if I am not pregnant by June. Well, we now have two cats - Sebastian and Cassidy (see pic). They are our boys and they have taught us how to accept change in our household. Hopefully they are preparing us a little for our future children.

Why Not Now? - Starting A Blog on Infertility

It has been over six years since my husband and I began the journey toward having our own child. At the time, we had it all planned out. We were going to wait until a certain time so that we could decide the child's birthdate. Well, guess what 6 years later and we really don't care what day they are born. You can not plan getting pregnant and if there is anything we have learned during this journey it is that life is too short to wait for anything. If you want to do something, see something or be something you have to do it now. The time is never just right! Over the course of time, I plan to step back and tell you about our adventure until this point as well as keep you updated on where we are now and how things are going. Feel free to become a part of the blog by telling me of your own experiences. I fully believe that sharing your feelings can help you get through those rough days. I will talk to you more later!